L - to be a monster
by JackyLupin
Summary: L – to be a monster Since I was a little child, nobody seems to understand me. When I was born, I seemed to be pretty normal, but I wasn't. They first experienced my difference when I first went to primary school. But my parents hated everything which was not normal. When I was eight, they couldn't deal with it - with me - any longer and skipped out on me, so that I grew up in an
1. Chapter 1

**There are many types of monsters in this world**

There are people saying that there is nothing as much important and as much perfect as the love, parents give to their children. This may be true, but does that mean that all parents love their children? And what happens to children who are not loved by their parents?

I was born on 31th of october 1979. It was a rainy evening in Winchester and my mother had to stay in hospital for two weeks until she finally could take me home.

When my mother got pregnant, she was in her late thirties. My father and her lived in Winchester, Great Britain, since fourteen years in the same house with the same furniture and the same decoration.

They hated changes and anormalities. They were complete philistines, nothing too much, nothing too less. The house was not too big and not too small, my father smoked, but never too much and never too less, the yard was perfect, never too long and never too short, as if they tried to make sure that no one would ever notice them. And everything in the first eight years of my life was like this, never too much and never too less.

You may wonder why I am complaining. I am not complaining. I just think it is ridiculous and furthermore it is important for this story.

I also want to add, it was really boring. Even the time they gave me to play when I was in kindergarten was perfectly planned. I didn't mind it because it was familiar to me and I never behaved wrong.

But when I should be enrolled in school, all went wrong. I do not try to tell you, my parents ever loved me. They did not even care. No, but when I should be enrolled and the doctor tested if I was 'ready' for school, the doctor told my parents happily I was highly intelligent. All parents in the world would be happy by learning their child was highly intelligent. All parents but mine. Highly intelligent was not normal. Highly intelligent did not mean neither too much nor too less, it meant way too much.

When we get home this evening, I asked my parents, what 'highly intelligent' meant. I was five years old and I did not understand. My mother started crying and my father shouted at me.

He called me a bastard, weird, he said, probably they should have given me away after I was born because I was a borther to them. Since this day, the word 'home' was connected to 'hell'.

I finally came to school a few weeks later. I did not even try to make friends with the other children since they called me a nerd, a swot, a weirdo or a smug from day one. It was a horrible time. My parents hated me and ignored me as much as possible, I was grateful they gave me food even if it was few. In school, nobody liked me as well and in our neighborhood I was just the weird little boy who never left the house.

When my first holidays came, I already was as pale as a vampire and as skinny as a anorexic. I looked like the walking dead. I had dark cyrcles arround my eyes because I never slept more than two hours and my black hair grew wild and in all directions. I looked so different from just a few months ago, it was terrifying.

I spent the holidays in my bedroom, reading, as well as all other holidays in my time at school. The only reasons for me to left my bedroom was to use the bathroom since I lost my appetite about two weeks after my first day at school where I finally stopped eating proper meals or even having the sensation of hunger. In fact, I spent the next three years like an amphibian in winter, without moving when it was avoidable, without eating, when it was avoidable, without doing anything beeing avoidable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Monsters who will not show themselves and cause trouble**

It went on like this for years. All I did was going to school, reading and learning. I never did sports or played any instruments. I had no things I loved, no passions, not anything.

My parents still ignored me while I grew up and I did not think it was fair. I knew, it was not, I did not do anything to them to deserve it and it was not my fault that I was, what I was like. The same was it with my classmates who made fun of me and refused talking to me. When I was seven, I finally determined that life was not fair, people were not fair and world was not fair.

Every day, my parents gave me a plate full of food which I did not eat. I had experienced that I was not hungry since a long time and I had realised that sweets gave much more energy for thinking so I didn't need anything but candy anymore. A few weeks after realising this, I dared telling my mother. She reacted surprisingly calm and told me in a monotone, she would buy butterscotch because it was the cheapest candy you could get. I was satisfied with it because it would last for my needs and I was really glad about her reaction.

The complete next year, I ate nothing but butterscotch and cake. In our school's cafeteria you could buy cake and it tasted like heaven to me when I get some which happened literally once in a blue moon. Maybe I loved it so much precisely because I had it so rarely and if I hadn't some, there was only more butterscotch.

So within my complete eight year of age my purpose in life were learninig, reading, school and butterscoch. This did not change until my eighth birthday. I did never celebrate my birthday, why would I? There was no point in celebrating one's birthday without anyone who cares about it. My birthday always was a standard day for me, no differences from other days. But my eighth birthday was even for me a horrible day. In the year 1987 my birthday was a saturday. Nonetheless I woke up about seven o'clock by some loud noises coming from the end of the room.

My parents entered the room and gave me a serious look. This caused me to get up worried and glance at them curiously. "Whats up?", I asked with a shaking voice. They hadn't entered my room for years, I ever cleaned it myself and never gave them a reason to come.

"You're going to leave.", my father explained without even looking at me, "We can't take this bother anymore."

I knew exactly what he meant. It was not the bother to pay my food or the burden to have me living in their house. I was the bother. Nothing but me because I was not what i should be like just from the beginning. And I knew there was no budging and mind-changing, the die was casted. they had decided on throwing me out probably when they experienced me beeing different. So I just get dressed, pulled a few books and the rest of my butterscotchs in a bag and left the house without another word forever.

I had no plan where to go or stay and when I was outside in the heavy rain I already regretted leaving so fastly and without an umbrella. After a few meters of walking I was yet soaking wet but I did not look back, I just went on until I came to a park where I found a shelter with a bench where I finally sat down.

I just took a book and started reading, ignoring the heavy cold, and chew on one of my butterscotch. I had to economise them since I did not know when I could get some new. After reading a few hours, I fell asleep without even noticing. I was exhausted from the walking, the cold and the reading as I just had a single butterscotch in several hours and I was not used to move much.

A deep voice woke me up. I opened my eyes and saw the face of an old man wearing glasses, a bowler and a suit. He looked familiar to me because I had seen his face before in some magazines. His name was Quillsh Wammy and he was a famous inventor.

"H-hello.", I said with a shaking voice. I then noticed that I was shivering heavily.

"What are you doing outside here?", Wammy asked.

"My parents threw me out.", I just answered.

"Why would they do this?"

"Because I am not normal."

"In what way?", the old an asked confused.

"I am highly intelligent. That is not normal. They hate everything which is not normal."

"Come with me", Wammy told me, smiling lightly, "We'll find a nice place for you."

At first, I looked at him sceptically. You should not go with a strange man. But I did not know what to do, so I took my bag and followed him. He did not seem like a criminal, especially because he was a really famous man and I seemed to recall that I read once he founded a orphanage with the money he raised as an inventor. So I just followed the old man silently and hoped, it would have been a good call.


	3. Chapter 3

**Monsters who abduct children**

The desicion on going with Mr. Wammy turned out to be a good one. He then led me to his orphanage, the Wammys House of Winchester. Mr. Wammy had a foundation, the Wammmy foundation, which alimented orphanages all over the world. The orphanage of Winchester was one of the only ones for highly talented children and that was where he brought me, He gave me food, clothing and a bed in the boys' dormitories. The girls ones were on the other end of the corridor. It was a big manor, even to big for about fifty children and an old man. Furthermore there was a room to play and a dining room, a kitchen, several bathrooms and other rooms, we were not allowed to enter. The other children, six boys and five girls, were, just like me, highly talented. They would not have judged me and probably they would have made good friends, but I did not think about making friends with anyone. So I spend the first few weeks in Wammy's sitting in a corner and playing by myself. I loved playing, since I never got the chance to when I was younger. My parents would not have spent money in toys for me. I always kept my favourite toys, mainly puzzles and other logical games, with me and played with them everywhere I was.

In my childhood, I made up a game. Everytime when anything happened, I thought about it a long time. Then I tried to judge. Was it justice? Or not? I mostly came to the conclusion, that it was not. It may had been because no one actually liked me so that it was nearly impossible to me to experience something justice, but it still made me upset. I longly thought about how bad the world had to be if almost just things happened, who were not justice. That was the point I promised to myself to make the world as justice as it would be possible to me.

On my first day at the orphanage, I sat in the playing room alone, staring at a puzzle. Suddenly, some of the other children came into the room and when they noticed me, they stopped and stared at me curiously. Then a little girl cried: "A new face! Lets cuddle him!" As she said, the children ran ahead for me, trying to catch me in their arms violently. Justice or not justice? I flailed arround, so that they all ended up injured and crying on the ground. That was the moment Mr. Wammy entered the room.

"What happened?", he asked shocked.

"I sat there and they came in, staring at me.", I explained, "One of them told the others to 'cuddle' me and then they ran over to me to imploy violence on me. They started it! I am justice!"

"Oh dear... L they just wanted to welcome you!"

"Oh... I'm sorry, Mr. Wammy.", I said silently, heading back for my corner to play while Mr. Wammy comforted the other children.

Sometimes, when I did not feel like playing or reading one of my books, I joined Mr. Wammy in the kitchen. He usually spent his afternoons in there, when he was not out or looking for the children, to read the newspaper or do some paperwork. I sat down on a bench next to the small table and listened to the news which were broadcasted on the radio. That was how I first knew about the Bombings. I was really interested in it and so did it happen that I started to spend the whole day in the kitchen, listening to the radio and making notes. Not a day went by without me thinking about this case. I formed the habit of sitting in a kyphotic position to use my full deductive skills, I kept eating many sweets and I stopped wearing shoes and socks because they were uncomfortable and distracted me. It just took me about two months to solve the case. When I was sure that I was right, I told Mr. Wammy about it, but he seemed not to know what he should do. So I just asked for a voice changer so I could call the police anonymously and tell them about my discovery.

And so I did. They closed the case within days and everybody wondered about the anonymous caller but I could not have cared less. I was not proud of myself because I solved this case. It was a children's game and to be honest, I wondered why the police could not have solved it without my help. But I liked the idea of solving more cases. This one had shown me a way to make the world more justice and to keep my promise to myself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Monsters who devour dreams**

The time passed by and I went on with solving cases. It were no difficult ones but it was fun for me. I also kept playing puzzles until one day when I decided that they were to easy for me.**  
**"Mr. Wammy?", I said one day, "Can't I get some more difficult games, please?"**  
**Mr. Wammy smiled kindly and said yes, he would buy some soon. When he came to the orphanage two days later, he had got many new games and puzzles which were more difficult, so that I did nothing else but playing with these for weeks.**  
**I related games to cases I tried to solve and it helped me a lot to distract me from cases so that I could concentrate on it later even more. When a case was to difficult for me and I was upset because of it, the only thing that helped was playing and sweets. Especially cake was rising my mood, maybe it was the sugar which affected me. And this way, I grew up. I solved cases, played and ate sweets. **  
**When I was 15, I asked Mr. Wammy for a computer.**  
**"Why do you want a computer?", the old man asked.**  
**"I think a computer gives me a better possibility to communicate. And communication is might to me, Mr. Wammy. I could actually start solving cases official and collaborate with the police worldwide.", I explained a little excited.**  
**"If you want to do this, I won't stop you. I'll get you a computer and a own room so that you can work without being sidetracked. Does this sound good?"**  
**I nodded satisfied. Mr. Wammy was the only person I really trusted because he seemed to support me and he accepted my way of life without any friends as long as I injured nobody, which I was not up to. This was the reason for me to ask him whenever I had a question or a problem instead of the teachers and professors he invited to Wammy's house to teach us and improve our special abilities. **  
**After a week, I got my own bedroom. There was a bed, a small wardrobe and a big desk. On the desk was a laptop laying with multiple microphones and voice changers and there was a small window above the bed which showed the backyard and the houses of the neighborhood. I immediately turned the laptop on and started working on the new case. Now that I had the internet, it was much easier to get the important information about happenings and I had the possibility to get a overview about all information I had. I was excited, I did not even new what it felt like to be so excited as I was. I never had a reason to be excited, no thing to be passionate about but my cases and justice. All I ever wanted was justice and this little piece of electronic was a big step on my way to justice.**  
**Since I had almost everything I needed in my room, I only left it for the bathroom and tennis from now on. Tennis was the only thing I did and I liked which had to do with human interaction. Once a week I would go to tennis practice in the city of Winchester and I was good. Just after a few weeks of practice I went to my first tournament and I won. A year later I was tennis champion in the England Junior Cup. But when I had not to practice I barely left my room.**  
**Mr. Wammy brought my sweets to my room, I had my computer and it was all I needed. When I solved a case, I used to call the police per laptop with my voice changer. When they asked for a name, I just said they should call me L. Nobody but Mr. Wammy did ever new that it was my real name. In the beginning, some curious police officer tried to find something out about me but they were not able to.**  
**The fact that I was not leaving my room let even the last teacher or child lose their hope for me getting friends and I really had no problem with this. If you wanted to achieve something in life, you had to concentrate on this thing and nothing else. And I wanted to achieve justice, that was my goal and I was full of resolution achieving it.**  
**I spent my main time in Wammy's House in my room. I spent my main time solving cases alone in this dark room. Sitting in a unnatural position on a chair, eating sweets and cake and without moving for hours or even days, I spent a important part of my childhood in this orphanage. Once a professor came to my room but I refused to talk to him. I had a case to solve. I had a world to optimize.


End file.
